Sunday, June 26, 2011

Let’s Have a Beer! And Other Very Random Thoughts About Beer…

Let’s have, get together or meet for a beer. It’s what many delusional beer-drinking buddies say to one another. What we mean is; Let’s have a few or many beers! One beer is rarely sufficient, unless it's in the form of a growler. Rarely do we hear; “Hey let’s have a coffee”. Instead we leave an opening for perhaps a second cup by saying, “Let’s meet for coffee”.

Now, I do have friends who are more realistic and come right out and suggest we go out for beers. They stop short of suggesting we go out and drink ourselves stupid, but I like their openness.

Another random beer-induced thought is; Common Beer Etiquette. Say you invite some friends over for a Beer and Food Pairing Party and a friend of one of your friends brings a sixer of Corona and some limes. It’s probably safe to say you might overlook, or even welcome someone bringing Stella Artois, Heineken or Becks and some cheese, but Corona? No way! When you think of a discolored liquid that passes through a Mexican donkey’s intestines after he washed down rotting cattle corn with a case of warm Busch Lite? (Also an Anheuser-Busch product) think Corona Extra (Extra Bad?). Yeah, like “Imported” from Mexico somehow makes it drinkable.

But back to the point; what should you do? This person is obviously a clueless cretin, so any attempts to rehabilitate his attraction to shite beer are probably a hopeless endeavor. I guess you could offer him a Stella or Heinie and hopes he at least gets the awful taste out of his mouth.

One last random beer thought: Yesterday morning, as dim, early light entered and interrupted my fading beer dreams. I began to contemplate my relationships with friends as it relates to beer. Friends whom I grew up with and still hang out with for poker, beer-drinking and fishing nights, always (ALWAYS) have a beer in hand. It’s like an extra appendage. The opposable thumb, after all, is perfectly created for grasping a glass, can or mug of beer.

My friends and I have long ago agreed that when we are reminiscing about some glory days past event in our lives, we can leave out the part where we say, “we were drinking beer”. It is just assumed that we were drinking beer and we no longer need to throw that piece of information into the story.

God forbid I should be rushed to the hospital, or worse, and have one of my friends try to identify me. “I’m sorry doctor, but I can’t be sure that’s my friend Don lying there. Here, put this bottle of beer in his hand, so I can be sure”. Oh yeah that’s Don! I’ve seen him like that hundreds of times! He’s fine!”


Quote: “Beer he drank, seven goblets. His spirit was loosened. He became hilarious. His heart was glad and his face shone”. – ‘Epic of Gilgamesh’ – The oldest tale from around 300 B.C.

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